Dogs and Children

It is specially heartbreaking when I hear stories about abused children,... or dogs!

There was an experiment I once read about chimps. The scientists made a real-sized mother chimp stuffy and buried a electric shock trigger inside. When the baby chimp saw this stuffy, it was not intelligent enough to know this was a fake and naturally, would try to get back to her arms and cuddle. The little chimp would get electric shock when it touched the mother and jump back a few steps, looked confused, maybe wondering "what had I done wrong and upset mom". After a few seconds, little chimp would attempt it again until little chimp learnt its lesson that mom did not want it to get close. Although the little chimp had given up snuggling into mom's arms, it would stay close to mom, wherever the stuffy mom was relocated to.

The little chimp, although were electric shocked when touching the stuffy mom, would not run away, still followed where mom went and maybe thinking this is its own fault that had upset mom. I wonder would this be a good analogy when a child was abused by the parents especially when the parents say "don't make me hit you". The kid would probably think it was their own fault and deserve the punishment. This kid would probably not fight back or run away, like the little chimp in the experiment. It is heart-breaking just to think about it.

Same as in dogs. When dogs are mistreated by their owners, the dogs would not fight back or run way. it would still come back to their owners.

A Dog's Tale

(This story may be disturbing for some.)

My owner is taking me for a walk down the street, same time everyday. 

There we see 2 men walking towards us. My owner put me back in the car. From the car, I feel anxious because my owner doesn't come in with me. He is still outside and through the window, I see...

Oh, no, his hands are tied up at the back by the 2 men and being taken away. No, I have to save him. I have to jump out of the window to save him. Trying and trying... I finally squeeze through the small opening, get out of the car and running to my owner. The 2 men stand between me and my owner, who is now yelling and screaming. Something is definitely wrong. I need to do something to save my owner. My head is lowered, my canines are shown and let out the growl. One man is now dragging my owner to their car while the other one pointing something at me. I heard POW, POW, POW... Something’s burning. I could no longer stand up. My sight is fading...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2353347/Police-shoot-kill-Rottweiler-street-dog-runs-owner-arrested-obstruction-justice.html

Am I being too hopeful?

There once was an experiment…

When a person was asked for a set of questions, such as “What is the chance you will die of heart attack in the next 10 years?”, this person may take a best guess. A correct answer then is given right away to compare to his best guess. He is either too optimistic or too pessimistic.

That’s OK as it was just a wild guess. The same set of questions will be given shortly after. This experiment was done on a group of random adults.

Interesting finding is that human will register the correct answers a lot easier when the answers are in their favour. People have difficult register the answers that are not in their favour and keeping giving a wrong answer that is too optimistic. 

Scientists attribute this phenomenon to a human trait that  this hopeful perception help us strive challenging situations. Having amplified hopes help we keep fighting.

I starting re-evaluate should I be hopeful when truths and my perceptions contradict each other?

Where is the balance to accept the truth, when it is not hopeful, and still be hopeful?

Am I mentally strong enough to recognize the hopeless situation and still fight?

When being kind is not an option of my control..

I heard a person commenting her Alzheimer's relative that have brought great burden to the family... "He is not the same" . I smelled some sense of half sentence to be completed with "he is not the same person I liked."

We like to be liked. Even Alzheimer's patients.
He doesn't want to be disliked either except that his disease controls who he is.

Do you have such forced-to-be angry and demanding relatives that used to be nice? How do we accept and love this angry person as he is now?

How would you like to die when the day comes? Sorry, it's not up to you!

The right to the end of life with dignity.

After 50 years old, my attention to health and death has gradually occupied more of space in my brain.

Many people like to plan for their pregnancy, having a child. Planned pregnancy, planned new life.

We don’t allow a person to plan for his death in a comfortable way, surrounded by all family members, have a sedative injection to fall asleep and followed by another heart suppressing injection to die in sleep peacefully. We don’t allow it even it is the most important business of this person; even it is a business only matter to this person and his loved ones. As bystanders, we, the society, don’t allow it. Sorry, it is just not up to you, as of today.

Many people euthanize our loved pets to have a planned and organized peaceful environment for their last moments, we don’t allow this right to a human, no matter how desperate he demands.

“Suicide is not an option. Get help.”; but help is not always available.

“Face the challenge and be strong.”; who are we to judge?

The fact is: another high school young man killed himself recently because his pain from his illness was unbearable. I can hardly imagine what emotional suffering a person has to go through when he decides to end his live.

Shouldn't we do our best help a person leaving the world in peace, with least suffering? We have given this humanity to death row offenders, why don’t we give the right to a decent human being? Enlighten me!

Let’s Suck!

A patient of mine, alias A.O., has high standard for herself and astonishing grades in school. The excellence is built on a lot of hard work and long hour studying, something she decides to do and has full control. She has a spell. She gets very nervous on stage or in a presentation. The level of nervousness can skyrocket into an episode of a panic attack. Over the years, she developed some ways to manage the anxiety. Focusing on breathing, visualizing happy or relaxing environments, being positive, convincing herself that she has put in so much effort and known everything inside out and nothing will go wrong…, all the prescriptions from the professionals.

Actually, there is an unconventional suggestion, given by her nerdy classmate, and she finds helpful sometimes.

A.O. still remembers vividly the “wisdom” she received in high school when she was extremely nervous about doing a presentation. Her classmate turned over and said firmly with a Russian accent "If you know you're going to suck, why bother worrying about it. Just go out there and suck".

She couldn’t bear all the negative words at the beginning. After digesting the words, she found that it helped.

Ah ha, what’s wrong if we suck? Shall we be ashamed when we suck?

Why do we have to rock to have fun? Can we not have fun when we suck?

It’s not the end of my life; it’s certainly not the end of the world!

On the other hand, by saying “we rock” doesn’t make us rock.

Don’t get me wrong that I embrace failure. Failure or success, I embrace the work, the process, something I control and decide, and accept the outcome. Life is not only about achieving, gaining or succeeding.

                       

Let’s suck and have fun!

Do you have anyone to complain to?

A friend listens to your complaints...

A true friend listens to your complaints and guides you a direction...

A really good friend listens to your complaints and complaints with you.

Treasure the people you can complain to!